You´re definitely on to something here - it IS difficult to be intimate with another, if we are not intimate with ourselves….at least if we view intimacy as something somewhat broader than just something that has to do with sex or body.

Many of my clients come to coaching because their man is withdrawing.

It could be that he has stopped giving her affection, it could be that he is generally distant, or maybe he´s stopped planning dates.

It could also be that he is not moving the relationship forward to commitment or that he has just got “sort of lazy”…letting her pick up the slack, rather than doing it himself.

That said, if you want to be with a masculine man, who is demonstrating masculine energy behavior, you will have to be in your feminine energy.

So I did some feminine energy work….and then I remembered…the pain is not in the feeling itself.

It’s in the resistance.

When we resist “what is”, we resist life.

What tends to happen when we give up on ourselves in order to please a man, is that we ignore our inner boundaries AND also our framework boundaries, because inside we feel so small, starved and desperate for a little bit of something, that only has maybe a tiny bit of potential…

In one of the biggest happiness studies conducted, the researchers found a clear relationship between happiness and having a loving, long term relationship with a good partner.

It is hardwired in us all, both men and women, to want to live together in love with someone, and to share our life with someone, to mate and have kids. Even if love and relationship traditionally is more prone to be valued by woman, a man still craves a good woman by his side to feel complete.

Have you ever heard that communicating your feelings to a man, will push him away? Or perhaps you have experienced this for real, when you were sad and angry, and you let him know how you felt, he suddenly withdraw. And this made you feel even worse, so you poke him and try with all means to get a reaction from him, but this only makes him go further and further away?

And if a man you REALLY want suddenly approaches you…you feel all anxious. You try hard to get his approval, and if he takes you to be, it makes you feel like a winner for a moment. You have amazing sex, you wear your rose coloured glasses for a while and you think that maybe you finally you got it....only to later find out that the sex was all he ever wanted….

why do people ghost? The main reason is FEAR. Fear of commitment. Fear of speaking the truth. But even when knowing that fear is often behind the curtains of ghosting, a situation where a man has ghosted is everything but pleasant. It can take us deep into despair and kick in all our defences, or it can make us feel not good enough and completely lose our confidence.

So if you are in this situation, or if it happened to you, or someone you know, here are some things you can do to quickly get back on track.

THE BIGGEST CHALLENGE WITH SETTING BOUNDARIES ARE THE RESPONSES WE FEAR GETTING FROM OTHER PEOPLE.

And yes - this IS a big challenge. Because a lot of people will not like it when you start setting boundaries and saying NO. A man can get angry. He will complain, especially if you been going along with things in the past.

Do you also find it difficult to know what to text a man?

And you want to be the Feminine Energy partner, so you want your texts to be soaked in warmth and openess. You want them to be like a flower, opening and receiving and flowing.

SO…here is a five step process to help you find and respond with the words that will draw him in!

You feel as if you have given up on yourself a little bit. You THINK in your head, that next time I will say NO to this or that…..

But when the situation appears, you find yourself saying yes to something that you really wanted to say NO to.

And then you feel down on yourself because you did not stand up for yourself. You start to blame yourself and feel guilty.
And in your head, a thousand thoughts are running around, about HIM and why he is doing this or that, why he is not paying attention, why he is...

Have you experienced that it is SO hard to set boundaries with men?

Do you often find yourself being somehow walked over or overseen?

You feel unheard. You have a lot of unmet needs.

OR you have trust issues. You feel that you cannot trust others. It seems they often let you down. You feel suspicious and uncertain if others really want the best for you.

When I hear women complain about their men today however, I listen with curiosity.

What are they really saying?

Between the lines, it is rarely about the dishwasher, or the napkins, or who is picking up the childrens toys.

Between the lines, is the fear and the feeling of not being loved.